12 November 2008
Our site previously got shut down. Our host wasn't trustworthy, as we believe he was in league with the Anthill Mob. Fortunately, we now have more trustworthy hosting, and we're ready to dance, dance, dance until the Internet is rid of all criminals. Speaking of criminals, we have added a couple to the wanted page. I must be off now, as it is the Internet Police annual barnyard dance and I fancy a couple of gin and carrot juice cocktails.
31 October 2008
It seems there's just no rest for the wicked, as dangerous internet paedofiles Simon Fiddler and Freddy Fiddler couldn't believe their luck as they found their new house was in an area full of trick or treating youngsters. Many male and female children were left with gaping holes and traumatic memories, and the descriptions given to us matched the Fiddler brothers exactly. When we searched the house reported to us we found many discarded costumes including a vampire, a devil, a fairy, Spiderman and Sonic the hedgehog. Unfortunately, the brothers had once again done a runner.
If you see these nonces about please report them to us. You... You wouldn't want... More kids to be raped... Would you?
24 October 2008
Disney Channel star Nicholas Jerry Jonas of the Jonas Brothers fame has died today found with wounds all over his body and a batty like a clown's pocket. The Internet Police believe this is the work of small time criminal Bruce Orrock ov Indigo Otters United [IoU] fame. If you have any info relating to this incident, please inform us at the email address internetpoliceorg@gmail.com.
Rest in Hollywood
Nicholas Jerry Jonas
September 16, 1992 - 24 October, 2008
23 October 2008
The Internet Police are back in town, and this time they're sticking around! That's right- P.C. Drubert McNab and P.C. Davendra Willaby are here to make the internet a safer place for future generations. Enjoy browsing the site and if you have any info for us, use the email address at the bottom of the page.
internetpoliceorg@gmail.com